When I first heard of the Hotel Greene, I was confused. It sounded like a hotel, but I saw a picture of a sign above the entrance announcing “This is Not a Hotel”…but it’s in the John Marshall Hotel…which is also…not a motel. General befuddlement, consternation, and curiosity ensued, so I packed my overnight bag (just in case), grabbed some friends, and headed to 508 East Franklin Street.

 

Seeing a hotel lobby, I confidently strode to the desk and asked for a room. The clerk nodded and proceeded to ask me if my companions and I would like a cocktail while we played with our balls. More befuddlement and consternation ensued, followed by a spirited discussion of which lady parts are generally attached to said lady, and which parts are generally not.  

 

At this point, the manager appeared at my side and explained that the Hotel Greene was a “highfalutin’ mini-golf and lobby bar.” Issue resolved, feathers unruffled, putter in one hand and dirty martini in the other I set out to explore the delights of Hotel Greene. You should too.

 

To call Hotel Greene a mini golf course does it a great disservice. It’s more of an art installation that happens to have a 13-hole mini golf course. The lobby looks like a 1920s European hotel complete with a lobby bar and staff dressed in period attire. Once you check in, cocktails are served during your short wait for the first hole.

 

After the owners saw artist Rick Araluce’s exhibit at the Renwick Gallery in DC, they asked him to design the course. Each hole has a vintage hotel feel and the sense that if David Lynch built a private golf course, it would look something like this. Smaller installations are sprinkled throughout the course so be on the lookout for peepholes and other surprises. Staff are available on the course to refill your drinks as necessary.

 

Open Wednesday through Sunday, check the website for hours as they differ each day, and it’s over 21 after 5:00 PM. Golf is $15 per round, and if you drop by during Ambassador Hour for $20 you can golf and partake of an appetizer sampler plate featuring the cuisine of wherever their ambassador is posted. Have a bigger appetite? Hotel Greene is open for brunch on Saturday and Sunday.