Lazy Gardening
I’ve gone through different gardening phases in my life, ranging from my short-lived hybrid-tea-rose-garden-of-slow-death-and-disappointment era, to my everything-is-edible-but-regrettably-taste-like-grass period. I’m officially announcing today that this is the summer of Slacker gardening, partially based on lack of time and patience, and partially because the other option suggested by ChatGPT was Sackler gardening. Call me old fashioned, but the combination of opioids and sharp garden tools, while novel, isn’t quite the fit for me.
Some plants, like some friends, thrive on neglect. Embrace them both and learn to love the lazy. The first step on your journey to inactivity is to know what to look for in a lazy plant. Added bonus, the last one also applies to friends.
- Drought-tolerant
- Pest-resistant
- No need for frequent pruning or feeding
- Forgiving soil preferences
- Doesn’t die dramatically if you forget it for a week (or two)
Next step, narrow down your victims. Adjust the mix to accommodate the available light in your yard, but here are my top ten lazy gardening plants. Some of which, coincidentally, also sound like some of my friends.
Sedum: Thrives on bad soil and good intentions.
Lavender: Smells great, hates being fussed over.
Russian Sage: Looks like you tried. You didn’t.
Hosta (in shade): Big drama with zero effort — just don’t overwater.
Yarrow: The Greta Garbo of plants, wants full sun and to be left alone.
Black-eyed Susan: Perennial optimism in flower form.
Thyme: Culinary and crawling — asks for nothing.
Daylilies: Reliable bloomers, even if you forget they exist.
Coneflower: Bee magnet, deer-resistant, drought-tolerant.
Zinnias: Color explosion with nearly no input.
There are also a few hacks to Slacker gardening.
Additional tips:
Mulch like you mean it. Put on a thick layer before things warm up to retain water and suppress weeds. Added bonus, it helps keep the soil from freezing in the winter.
Group plants by water needs. Some love it wet, some prefer it dry. Think of it like guests at a party, the more similar they are, the greater the chance they’ll get along.
Don’t lie to yourself. Me: “I’ve killed every hanging plant I’ve ever bought in three weeks or less.” Also me. “Pretty colors!!” Know your limitations and consider self-watering pots or a hanging basket watering kit with a hose-end timer.
Death is a natural part of life, what, you want to question the cycle of life? If it dies it dies. You gave it a chance, at least you tried.
Low maintenance can still be beautiful, sustainable, and stylish. Finally, and I probably should have led with this, you’re not actually being lazy, you’re being…strategic. Yeah, that’s it. Strategic.
